Nothing is as it seems.

It’s been 3 months since we opened our own new store to the public.

With this grand opening came new routines, new problems to solve, new responsibilities.
My life looks completely different from one year ago.

There are days I lay my head down at night and reflect on my interactions with clients or co-workers and feel remorse for the way I handled a specific situation, knowing I can be a better leader, a better listener, a better friend.

Jill & I are both introverts, people who cherish alone time, privacy, small gatherings and deep meaningful conversation.

I love to be by myself, locked away from the world, designing & making what I want. Listening to podcasts, without any concern for the outside world. My wife in the other room doing what ever she wants to do. My cat curled up next to my sewing machine. This was my happy place for years.

I think it’s easy to look at someone else’s life and think, “Oh, they have it all together. Look at their success, what a dream life.”

I used to think these things about other people. I no longer envy anyone.

Instead I see their life circumstances for what they really are. I imagine the routines associated with that they have. The responsibility associated with that they do. The work associated with what they have built and are building.

Here I am in our new store, sitting next to a stack of orders I received within a few days, carrying more responsibility that I’ve ever carried, feeling more pressure than I’ve ever felt, chained to my ironing board most days making for others because of the promises I’ve made and I have to ask myself;

Is this what my “success” looks like? Is this what I was longing for all those years I was a starving artist crying myself to sleep because I wanted to be great? (Whatever that means)

Am I more happy today than I was a year ago? Am I more free today than I was a year ago? Has my idea of “success” changed in this last year? Yes it has.

We share highlights on Instagram & Facebook, but we share our lowlights in real time with those who are witness to our lowlights.

For those of you witness to my lowlights, I am sorry. Thank you for showing me grace, for nothing is as it seems.